The Neighborhood Pimp: What I learned from someone I thought I knew by just looking at him

Dear Readers,
Since my daughter was born almost 6 months ago, I have spent a lot of time sitting in various parts of the house nursing her. One of my favorite places I have found myself most often is the living room couch. It faces the front yard and there is a large window that opens onto the busy street we live on. While I sat there, I started to notice people, dogs, people with their dogs, kids, families, delivery people, and the assorted lot go by my house. Things I had never noticed before. One of the more amusing things, was watching the neighborhood pimp ride by on his bicycle. He would leisurely glide into view and slip out as he headed toward the corner store and then back again in the other direction on his way home. Comical as it happened almost at the same time every day.

How do I know he's a pimp, you may be asking? Well, he used to be. We actually live on a nice street with well appointed houses and friendly neighbors. He happens to be one those people that somehow managed to run a pimping business right under our watchful neighborhood eyes. He was convicted and went to jail for some specified amount of time. I only know this because I attended a neighborhood association meeting and one of the residents asked what was to be done about the hooker that approached her husband at 4am while preparing to go on a fishing trip. I actually laughed out loud because of all the things you hear at those meetings, that is really the last thing I expected. The police Sargent attending the meeting said they were very close to making an arrest and so it went. He was arrested during a sting operation, convicted and sent to jail.

So for about the first three months of my daughter's life, I would sit on the couch and nurse her and call out to my husband, "There goes the neighborhood pimp!" It became a joke. We would drive by and mention to relatives or friends, "That's where the pimp lives." And of course, the reaction was worth it.

So one afternoon, I put the baby in the Bjorn, suited up the dog and went for a walk. As I got closer to the Pimp's house, the tasty aroma of something on the grill wafted past my nose. He happened to be out as I was walking by. "Hello, That is one beautiful dog", he greeted me. I was a bit surprised since he usually kept to himself. "Thanks. Smells great." I replied. "Boy or girl?" I looked up because I wasn't sure if he was referring to the dog or the baby. When I realized he was looking at the baby, I said, "girl." He responded, "She's beautiful. How old is she?" I told him about 4 months old. He said, "You know that's all that matters right now, is your little girl. Those little ones are special to this world." I was so surprised that it took me a minute to respond. "Thank you! Have yourself a good day." He smiled and went inside.

I realized in that moment, that I had judged him. Of course, he was guilty of the crime he had committed, but that had been years ago. Such a paradox isn't it? Someone who went to jail for committing a crime could also tell me something so simple and profound. And kind.

So during the rest of the walk, I reflected upon this moment. If I found it so easy to judge him, how much more easily do I judge myself? I'm not about to keep track, but I would say pretty damn often. We as human beings are so hard on ourselves. As a new mom, I have many moments where I judge myself for not doing the right thing or trying to be a perfectionist. At which point I had another observation. I judge myself harshly and yet I have much to be proud of. Through my training in Internal Energy Plus, I have learned to observe and be more aware. Without this training, I probably would have continued to see the Neighborhood Pimp without perception and consciousness.

I am grateful to the Neighborhood Pimp for reminding me of this lesson. And in doing so, I know that is something I can teach my daughter.